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Does war excuse domestic violence? Does it encourage it?  If people are cruel to each other in a war society, are they more prone to abuse their children? Some stories occur in World War II Greece and involve family and non-family violence in an environment where the author witnessed Jews hauled like cattle. The author presents vivid accounts of his childhood and ponders the role of war and culture in our lives. He offers insightful ways to cope with our feelings toward one's parents that may help settle long-standing psychological trauma. They display a life's rich cultural voyage unfolding in Greece, Belarus, Russia, Canada, Chile, and the United States.

REVIEWS

Since its recent appearance, Sometimes Cruel: Short Stories has received warm acclaim led by a surprisingly positive review from Kirkus Reviews, one of the most prestigious book review services in the United States and the rest of the participating world. For the Kirkus and other reviews, see below.

"A collection of stories illuminates Koubourlis' travels, beliefs, and experiences with love and pain in this memoir.

Buried within the self-described "eclectic" author and academic's collection of intimately autobiographical stories are the truths that have made him "fortunate in many respects." The physical violence he and his brother endured at the hands of his punishing father, whom he dubs "my family's beater-in-chief," inspires the difficult opening story ("The Beating"), in which he describes the abusive episodes that occurred with regularity throughout their youth and the "profound effect" it had on them both, mostly in the form of "undesirable cultural baggage" carried into and throughout early adulthood. Despite this enduring trauma, Koubourlis remains compassionate and forgiving, openly admitting that he is "incapable of holding a grudge." Instead, he offers absolution and exoneration with descriptions of the negative effects of war and his father's own childhood status as an orphan as probable explanations for his parents' harsh, stern child-rearing style. A series of "first-times" lifts the collection with vivid history and a touch of levity as the author shares experiences such as the first awakening of his consciousness (at age 3) when Italian biplanes bombed his Greek city in 1940. Other firsts include the discovery of his very own toy balloon, which he excitedly discovered at the beach. His first experience with youthful, unbridled, amorous infatuation in his hometown of Rio-Patras in 1953 is also luminously realized. The stories progress to the 1970s: in "Ephemeral Fame," which takes place when Koubourlis was a young (and homesick) university professor in North Carolina, he reconnected with a favorite childhood musician who, by happenstance, was performing at a Greek restaurant in Chicago. The love of a stray cat in the resonant and sentimental "A Message from Afar" ends up inspiring a deeper connection between the author and his female companion, Lena. Other stories have more contemporary settings yet still enchant as Koubourlis strums a guitar melody to a garden snake before concluding with a lyrical meditation on the messages found in dreams.  

The collection's strength lies in its diversity. The stories move from early incidents of scarring pain and sadness to memorable experiences with love, animals, partnership, music, and death. The author takes care to embed his opinions and seasoned perspective into each story, framing and informing them with personal insights and life lessons, all placed in historical context; "My First Memory" describes the harrowing bombing of his hometown in "war-soaked Greece" at the opening of World War II and how the citizens of the area scattered in horror. Koubourlis also offers considerations of the nature of evil, the dynamics of "what a civilized society should be," and our propensity to cater to the forces of outside control. Thoughtful, lucid, and emotionally aware throughout, this assemblage of cathartic stories is a powerful testament to memory and meaning, written with passion, intensity, dark humor, frank honesty, and immense heart.

A memoir in stories contextualizes the author's striking experiences throughout his adventuresome life. " -- Kirkus Reviews
(SOMETIMES CRUEL | Kirkus Reviews)

The reviews posted by readers on Amazon.com and Goodreads.com are all positive so far and the author takes this opportunity to expresse his gratitude.

***

Here's a review from BookLife, a very important opinion-maker in the book world: Booklife Booklife

Sometimes Cruel: Short Stories

Demetrius Koubourlis PhD

"Koubourlis (author of A Concordance to the Poems of Osip Mandelstam) offers a thought-provoking collection of auto-fiction stories drawn from a childhood that found him bearing witness to violence both intimate and epochal. The opening pages contemplate a father whipping his son—it's the narrator's father wielding the belt, and the narrator's brother on the receiving end—and also the "60,000 Greek Jews" who "were herded cattle-like for shipment to forced labor or extermination camps." At times it can be difficult to tell if these accounts are memory-based essays or works of fiction fortified by memory. But it's their urgency and spirit of restless moral inquiry that matters, as Koubourlis contemplates complex questions of culture, parentage, violence and more.

Growing up in World War II and the Greek Civil War, and crediting his "life's first horrific memory to Mussolini," Koubourlis was raised by strict parents who did their best to keep him and his brother out of the kind of mischief that might end up in a book of short stories. Often the boys felt the sting of their father's belt as a result of their horseplay or innocent ineptitude. Readers will feel the terror of a young boy as his first memory is the Italian bombing of his hometown in Greece, but humor is never far away. (Readers sensitive to material should take note.)

In the book's second half, the stories build in intensity, exploring individuals' connectedness to the world and our closest environs, with a pained yet tender story of the adult narrator, in Chile with his wife, tending to a wayward kitten, Grits. Sometimes Cruel concludes with an essay on a song heard in a dream and Koubourlis's searching thoughts about its meaning. A YouTube link offers readers a chance to hear the melody that Koubourlis describes as "powerful but calm, as if to emphasize that everything is alright, as it should be." This is an enigmatic book that, for readers of a contemplative bent, will linger in the mind.

Takeaway: Searching, enigmatic memory stories of growing up and living in a violent world." -- BookLife Reviews

Here's a review by Amy DiMaio in Discovery:

"In Demetrius Koubourlis' series of short stories collectively called Sometimes Cruel, he writes about things that could be considered flaws in human nature. He then puts these stories in the context of their time and the culture of the people involved to explain why some communities or people find what some consider to be abnormal behaviors acceptable. Demetrius always learns something new about the world around him because he is drawn to the characters in his stories for one reason or another and seeks to understand their motivations. His stories include philosophical inquires about right and wrong and why he in the end will justify the actions of at least one character within the story. 

 The author speaks multiple languages and enjoys sharing the cultural heritage of the countries he visits in a way readers can feel through the page. One is advised that there is a large range in the lightheartedness or heaviness of the stories. Two stories stood out as emotional, and the more disturbing one contained a trigger warning. Sometimes cruel is otherwise fairly easy-going. Sometimes Cruel poses questions to the readers about their values and is an excellent opportunity for introspection. Readers may find themselves deep in thought on the stories and the philosophical analysis of enjoying unusual behaviors. The endings always have something important implied which in most cases was easy. Still, I could not decipher what encouraged the policemen's behaviors in "From the Ministry" which is what the whole story led to."

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